Lessons in Parenting

This morning, Hope was in the kitchen with me as I was baking muffins. Sam was having fun pushing the step stool around the floor and climbing up and down. When I went to to throw the chocolate chips into the batter, I noticed I was short a bag. And, thank God for older kids, Hope ran down to the corner store to grab me a bag. She asked if she could take Sam with her and I said sure. Sam loves to go places. He's a lot like the family dog; put your shoes on and he gets all excited, pointing at the door yelling, 'Car! Car! Bye, bye!' This time was no different, so of course, went to the store with Hope.

When they got back, Hope and Sam were sharing a candy bar (yes, this early in the morning *rolling eyes* ) Apparently, the high schoolers were fundraising and selling them outside the store, so my oh-so generous daughter just HAD to contributed to their cause. ;-)

I finished up the muffins and threw them in the oven while Hope ran upstairs to finish getting ready for cheerleading practice. Sam ran to the gate on the stairs yelling up after her, "Back here, Hopie! Back here! More chocolate!" ROFL

When Hope came back down she asked me if I still had the part of the chocolate bar that she and Sam had saved for me. I said yes, and she asked if Sam could have it. I again said yes, and she gave it to him.

As we finished up in the kitchen, enjoying the chit chat, Sam kept going to Hope for all of the little things that he wanted. Hope asked why he always comes to her. I explained because she usually gives him what he wants. She wanted to know if that was the only reason he loved her. I said, well...is that the only reason you love me? She says, 'no.' I explained further; what do you and T.J. do when you want something and I say no? She says, ask dad. I said right! You guys, like Sam, will go to whoever you think is going to give you your way. But just because one of us says no, doesn't mean we don't love you. We love you very much, but that also means we want you guys to grow up to be people who care, share, love and treat others the way you would like to be treated. Do you have friends who are selfish? Do you like to be around those people? How about when I tell you there are character traits or behaviors that you do that are unbecoming? Does it make you angry and defensive? Or do you want to know what those things are so that you can work on them and become a better person? People that truly care about you will tell you these things. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who always tells them how great they are and gives them whatever they want. The hardest part of being a parent is not just making our kids happy, but helping them grow into decent people that others enjoy to be around.

I used to tease T.J. all the time; just like most kids, he used to always ask 'why' whenever I would tell him no to something. Tired of always saying 'no' and 'because I said so', and trying to rationalize out the 'why's' all the time; I developed a standard reply of, 'because it's my job to make sure that you grow up to become a respectable functioning part of society'. Yeah. He didn't quite understand that at age 5, but it was more for my benefit than his anyway; it helped me keep my sanity as to why I was always saying no as well, lol!

Hope says she doesn't like to tell Sam no, because she doesn't like to make him sad. I said well, parents don't always like to make their kids sad either, but we know that if they don't learn certain behaviors now, while they are young, they will suffer the consequences of them when they are older. Hope agreed, but stated...it's not easy! I agreed with her; you're right, it's not easy! Nor is being a parent. ;-)